A few weeks ago I posted an article on How to be a Better Husband, and I received some fantastic feedback. Being a person of symmetry, I couldn’t do one for husbands without doing one for wives, so here you go. This week, here are my top 10 ways to be a better wife – justly titled “Happy Husband, Happy Marriage” (even though this phrase is typically in reverse, geared toward the wife’s of our lives, I felt that it was very fitting for this post).
- Don’t bring up the past…let sleeping dogs lay. So often we bring up mistakes of the past to win arguments of the present. Don’t do that…leave the past in the past…and remember, you don’t need to win the argument…perhaps this is the one that you let him win…remember its not about right and wrong, winning and loosing…its about connection.
- Give your man his space to be a man, to make decisions and be the alpha-male. We all know that you’re in charge, but just let your husband believe that he’s in charge…just for a little while. Give him the space to be the man you desire, and you may be surprised by who he becomes in the process. Give him space, and give him his freedom from time to time.
- Go to HIS favorite restaurant. You know the food sucks but the company will be divine. Don’t complain just enjoy him…appreciate him, and your reward will be far more than you can imagine. A happy wife makes a happy home…and yes it works both ways.
- Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. Don’t pretend that you know what your husband is thinking, and don’t make the mistake of assuming that he will know what you are thinking. Good communication is a key element of a happy and healthy marriage. Also, don’t get upset when good intentions were at play. Mistakes happy in relationship but quite often they do with the best of intentions…don’t hold it against your husband, and definitely don’t use it as a wedge or poor excuse to complain. Remember, its all about connection. Of the same note, if there is something that you want, just ask for it…be clear in you communication and don’t assume that he can read you mind (in case you didn’t know – he can’t.)
You cannot fix him, he is who he is. We often have this complex in relationships where we blame the other person for all of our ails and then at the same time we try to fix them. We all have our issues, but this is a good time just to accept your husband for who he is. Accept the good and the bad, the glorious and the absolutely disgusting. Just accept him for who he is…and if you have a problem, communicate. Remember, you cannot control your husband, you can only control your reactions to him.
- Give him a night out with his pals. Whether its poker, camping, or just good intellectual candy, give him a chance to step away and be a bachelor just long enough to remember why he married you. Let him be a kid and release a lot of that pent up energy…don’t worry, he will actually be a better husband because of it.
- Tell him how great he is…believe in him. Yes, your husband has an ego, and although we all know that you are in charge, take a break for a moment and remind him that he is the alpha male, he is incredible, amazing and spectacular…and just the man you need. Make him a priority, don’t take him for granted…sometimes with kids your relationship takes a back seat…mix it up and remember, one day the kids will be grown up and on their own and it will just be you and him.
- Don’t complain so much…take some time simply to express your gratitude for everything you have in life. It’s incredibly tempting to complain about all of the little things, but he will appreciate you so much more if you express your appreciation for what you do have instead of what you don’t.
- Let your hair down. Get creative and keep the romance alive. A lack of physical intimacy is symptomatic of an unhealthy relationship. If you need to get away, take a trip, even if its only for one night. Find ways to embrace each other with all areas of your being…physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Find news ways to engage with each other and most importantly, just make time to connect.
- Do something fun…live, love, laugh. Keep it fresh, keep it real. Life is too short, and who knows what tomorrow will bring. Live it up right now…say what needs to be said and open your heart, let your heart be as big as the world. The deeper your connection and the greater your love…the happier and healthier your relationship will be. In the end, BE YOURSELF (that’s why he married you.)
Share your comments with me…I am sure I left out some good ones…feel free to add them below.