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The REAL Best Father’s Day (Spiritual) Gift List

by Seth David Chernoff   //   Spirituality

Father and Son Feet Photo

Before we start, we need to clarify and define what really makes someone a father. We all know that you cannot be a father in name alone, and for the sake of argument, let us not refer to the “Fathers” among us who have been given this title as a result of their contributions to their religious organizations. Pure and simple, we are referring to those who have chosen not only to look after and care for their offspring, but who have also chosen to focus on their own growth and development by being a great role model for their children. It is often said that the best way to contribute to our children isn’t only by shaping their lives, but by shaping our own so that our children can learn by our example.

Before we continue, we cannot clearly define the meaning of fatherhood, without clarifying what a father ISN’T, so let us be thorough for a moment. Those of you “fathers” who contributed only your sperm, and chose not to financially or emotionally support your child’s life, I am not sure that you are worthy of such a title or honor. Let us remember that anyone can become a “father” through simple happenstance or a momentary lack of consciousness (combined with some sort of physical satisfaction one would hope), but I would like to remove that from the overall classification of fatherhood. Simply put, for those who chose to harm our most precious children through emotional and/or physical abuse, you must simply relinquish your crown.

A sperm donor or deadbeat dad is no more a father than I a priest simply after using the restroom in a church or synagogue.

Father’s day is truly the day for those who give fully and freely of themselves to their children and to their families. There is no prize for those who have abandoned their role, or circumvented reality to live in an altered illusion at the expensive of those who require our love and contributions.

So let’s get on to the REAL Best Father’s Day Gifts of 2009

Just one last minor detour…to get to the bottom of this, I believe that we need to being with those things that a father absolutely does NOT want, even though his pride may preclude him from honestly of his thoughts. Just humor me for a moment and let’s assume that the father in question is basically your typical alpha-male, or even the stay-at-home dad, the breadwinner or even just the on-call bug exterminator. A few words of wisdom:

  1. As much as it may sound like a good idea at the time, he really doesn’t need any soap or hair care products. He’s losing his hair anyway and there is no need to add insult to injury. In addition, it would be a good idea to spare him additional concern by reminding him of our country’s the mind boggling deficit.
  2. Secondly, I promise you that he really doesn’t want another “My Dad’s The Greatest” T-shirt, mug, or baseball cap. It sounds like a good idea at the time, but a father quickly realizes that he is unable to wear or use it for consequence of degrading or insulting all of the other Dad’s out there (and besides, its a tall order).
  3. In fact, I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t want any jewelry, crystals, or Victorian furniture. You can only get him so many more customized aprons, or 32-piece BBQ tool set with metal storage case.
  4. He probably doesn’t need another ridiculous tie, tickets to a Madonna concert, or an invite to see another chick flick (save that for mother’s day).
  5. Men really are very simple in nature, so let’s get right to it.

What does he REALLY want? We all know that what he truly wants is not tangible, for his inherent desires cannot be bought online or in a convenience store. They cannot be obtained for they can only be given. What a father really wants is to be loved and appreciated, acknowledged for all of his hard work and contributions to his family and to his greater community. A fathers true desire is to receive the gratitude of a job well done. Alright, enough of the emotional mumbo jumbo, let’s just cut to the chase.

  1. What every father REALLY wants is MORE PROJECTS. If you truly love the father in your life, give him more projects to do because nothing tells your spouse or the father of your children how much you love them more than a toilet to plunge or a bathroom remodel.
  2. In all seriousness, just give him a HUGE hug and a kiss, and in all sincerity, just say thank you in whatever manner suits your personality…and in case you are short for words, let me help you out.

Dad, thank you for all of the sacrifices and contributions you have made for me throughout my entire life. Thank you for putting me (or us) first and ensuring my safety and wellbeing. Thank you for everything you have done for me and for everything you have given me; I wouldn’t be who I am without you, in fact I wouldn’t even exist. I am truly grateful for who you are in my life. (and of course don’t forget the I love you part). – feel free to edit or adjust as needed.

Nevermind all that. Just disregard it all and buy him the new Iphone 3G so that he can load web pages, launch his fly fishing application, take videos, and share pictures of you even faster than ever before.,

3 Website Comments

  • Your advice is good for Father’s who have already passed on… new tie, latest IPod, concerts, more projects etc… all useless after our time on this earth is done. A meaningful prayer, the essence of gratefulness in our memories and words as we speak of our Father’s who have gone on before us…. Without confirmation from my own Dad, I would venture to say these are the best gifts.

  • I am sorry to hear of the passing of your father, but I sincerely appreciate your feedback and thoughts.
    David

  • You know so much interesting information. You might be very wise. I like such people. Don’t stop writing.

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